The next day Faith’s mom walked into her room. Faith was still lying in bed, staring at the ceiling.
“Sweetie, are you going to go to school today?”
“Do I have an option?” Faith replied.
“Well, I figured today you could have the option, but tomorrow you’ll need to go.”
“I don’t know how I’ll face my friends. They know what happened, and I’ll either be looked upon as some sort of unclean person, or be the one they think they need to comfort.”
“Well,” Her mom replied, “if they do the first, then they weren’t really your friends at all. If they do the second, you’ll know they actually care about you and want to help.”
“But that’s just it!” Faith replied. “I don’t want their help! All I want is to pretend it didn’t happen!” A fresh stream of tears flew down Faith’s face, her mom rushed to her bedside and hugged her. To her mother’s surprise, she felt Faith become stiff.
“I’ll go today.” She heard her daughter say, and then watched with horror as Faith pulled away and got out of bed. It wasn’t necessarily the fact that she pulled away from her mother’s embrace, it was the fact that she saw walls up in her daughter that had never been there before. Walls that, if allowed to be left alone, would multiply and pretty soon, close her daughter off from the entire world.
“I’ll make pancakes.” She replied, glancing at her daughter one more time before walking out of her room.
Faith stood there until her mother had left, and then sighed. She turned around to her full length mirror and studied her reflection. Although she looked exactly like she had before, the sparkle in her eyes was gone, and she seemed older. Whether it was the lack of innocence she felt, or the lifeless expression she had on her face, she didn’t know. But the girl who looked in the mirror one week ago was gone, and the new Faith was now here- against her will.
As Faith was walking to school, groups of people walked by her, and she felt like they were all glaring at her with looks of judgment. Faith lowered her head so that she was now looking at the ground. The shame she felt seemed to multiply with every stare she felt. Suddenly a hand grabbed her arm and she jumped.
“Whoa there!” Lauren’s voice sung out.
Faith turned and embraced her friend. “I’m so happy to see you!”
“No duh! So what else is new?” Lauren sarcastically said, grinning. “I cannot tell you how happy I am that you’re back! Now I don’t have to face the jealous stares of all the monster’s in play practice anymore!”
“Why would they be glaring at you?” Faith asked.
“Because I’m the best friend of the star!” Lauren said, grabbing Faith’s scarf from her neck and started twirling around her friend.
Faith laughed at Lauren’s little dance and then stopped. A cloud seemed to come over her in an instant. “I wish I could be as carefree as Lauren is…” she thought.
Lauren noticed her friend become quiet, so she grabbed her hand and pulled. “Come on.” She said, “We’ll be late for Mr. Tillman’s psycho class!”
Lauren drug her grinning friend into their Psychology class and sat her down at her usual desk- right next to Lauren’s.
As Mr. Tillman’s monotone voice echoed through the classroom, Faith lost interest and let her mind wander. She hadn’t seen Drew at all today. “In fact…” Faith glanced behind her and looked in the far back left hand corner. “He’s not in his normal seat?”
She felt a jab in her arm and quickly turned her head to face Lauren. She saw the look of protectiveness in her friend’s eyes and sent a questionable look to her. Lauren shook her head and mouthed “later”. Nervousness gripped Faith as she glanced back on more time at Drew’s empty seat. This hour couldn’t go any slower…
After class Lauren started to get out of her seat but glanced over at Faith, who pinned her with a stare. She slowly lowered herself back into the seat.
“Are you sure you want me to tell you here?” Lauren asked hesitantly, glancing around at the other students who were trying their best to escape as soon as possible from the classroom.
“Here and now.” Faith said.
“Ladies, do you have a question?” Mr. Tillman’s voice broke in.
“No sir, we were just leaving.” Lauren replied, pulling her friend up by the arm and rushing her quickly out the door.
Once they were outside, Faith planted her feet to the ground, causing Lauren, who was still walking, to whip back around.
“Now tell me!” Faith said through clenched teeth. “Where’s Drew?”
Lauren opened her mouth to answer, but there was no need. Just then Faith looked up and saw Drew on the other side of the room. “Oh thank God he’s okay!” she thought to herself. She couldn’t help but smile and started walking towards him.
“No Faith, wait!” Lauren cried, grabbing her arm.
Faith’s body came to a halt, she turned around to face her friend. Confusion filled her being.
“What has gotten into you?” She asked Lauren.
“I- He- Drew…” Lauren’s voice trailed off.
“Drew what?” Faith cried.
“He…” Lauren’s gaze drifted to Drew and she let out a sigh.
Faith turned where her friend was looking and her breath caught in her throat.
Just then, a blonde girl with her bleached hair pulled back in a ponytail and in her cheerleader uniform walked up to Drew. She put her skinny bare arm around his shoulder and he turned to face her. A smile spread across his face as he put his arm around her waist and drew her towards him. She glanced up at him, the curve of her body pressed up against him in a seductive manner, and he leaned down to kiss her lips. When he pulled his head back up he glanced around. Suddenly his eyes met Faith’s. Faith had grown stiff, except for the fast beating of her heart. He looked at her, his face expressionless, like he had never seen her before. He turned away and caressed the girl’s face with the back of his hand. He said a few words to her and they both started walking down the hall together.
Faith felt like someone had just punched her in the gut. She couldn’t breathe and the room started to spin. “Drew…is…with….Tiffany?” She gasped to Lauren.
Lauren grabbed Faith by her waist and steadied her, holding her up. Lauren’s long red hair flew into her face as she bent forward to steady Faith. Her brown eyes grew worried and sorrowful.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Faith asked her, accusingly.
“I-I didn’t know how! And I didn’t think you needed anything else to worry about!” Lauren cried.
“So you just figured you’d let me see it for myself, instead of warning me? Thanks you’re a true friend!” Faith cried sarcastically. Tears sprang to her eyes as she fought to get out of her friend’s hold. “Let me go Lauren!” She yelled.
“Faith I was just trying to help! I didn’t mean to hurt you!” Lauren cried, keeping her grip on Faith.
Faith stopped struggling and froze. “Okay.” She said quietly and lifelessly. “Okay.”
Lauren’s eyes grew wide with worry. “Faith? Faith what’s wrong?”
Faith looked at Lauren with a faraway look into her eyes. “Okay.” She said again.
Lauren was paralyzed. Her friend’s sudden calmness was not normal, almost like she was hypnotized.
Faith walked out of Lauren’s limp grip and numbly kept walking. She turned the corner and left Lauren staring blankly after her.
The rest of the day was a dream to Faith. When play practice came, she got up on stage and looked around. She heard whispers from the audience and a giggle here and there. She glanced blankly at Mrs. Williams the director who started to yell at the others.
“Give Faith your full attention and respect!” She demanded.
“It doesn’t bother me.” Faith said. She paused and glanced at Lauren in her seat and paused. “Mrs. Williams?” She asked. “Would you mind if I skipped today?”
“Of course, Faith.” Mrs. Williams replied.
Faith walked down from the stage and started to walk out the door.
“Oh, Mrs. Williams, I was raped so I think I deserve special treatment!” a mock voice came from the group in the seats.
Faith gasped for breath and her face become flushed. She froze and hesitantly turned back around. A group of students sat clustered together in some of the theatre seats. She recognized them as the group she used to hang out with.
“Billy, shut up!” Lauren shouted, springing for him as a lioness does when she protects her cubs. When she had gotten close enough to him, she dislodged her manicured claws and scratched his arm without mercy. Billy let out a yelp and sprung away. Colorful words escaped his lips as he looked at his arm.
Mrs. Williams tried her best to control the teenagers, but it was too late. They became like a pack of wild animals, all springing for someone else. Fists were thrown between the guys, nails were used and hair was pulled between the girls. Screams from the auditorium could be heard rooms away. Lauren rushed to Faith’s side.
“Come on.” She whispered, grabbing her arm and leading the dumbfounded Faith out of the school.
As the days past, Faith just went through the motions. Get up, eat, school, homework, and sleep, and repeat.
By the third week Faith felt that something was amiss, but didn’t say anything. By the end of the next month, though, she knew something was wrong and decided to tell her mom.
“Maybe it’s just all the stress you’re feeling about Jacob’s upcoming trial…”
Faith wasn’t so sure. “Please, Mom, can we just go in and check it out.”
As they pulled up to the hospital, Faith’s heart beat faster. The last time she was here was two months ago when she was actually raped. She stepped out of the car, her boots making crunching sounds in the fresh snow as she moved towards the entrance. Once inside Faith turned left and stopped at the help desk and waited for her mom. Her mom came in shortly, stomping her feet on the ground to remove some of the snow from her shoes. Walking up to where her daughter was, she started talking to the nurse at the desk.
“We’re here for a checkup please.”
”Name?” the lady asked, looking up from writing a prescription.
“Purseland.” Faith’s mother replied.
The lady moved her plump hand from one paper to the other, following the line of the names down the paper with her pen. Suddenly she smiled.
“Ah yes!” She replied, the gap in between her two front teeth showing as she talked. “Purseland, here you are!” She pushed her heavy stature up from the chair and walked around the desk. “Right this way!” She said happily.
Faith and her mom followed the lady into a room down the hall. Turning a left they walked into a small room.
“Dr. Evans will be right in.” She said as she smiled for the last time and closed the door behind her.
Faith glanced around the small room. Pink wallpaper with tiny yellow and blue flowers hung decoratively on the wall with green border around it. There was a trashcan, of course, a chair in the corner, and an exam table right in the middle of the room.
Mrs. Purseland walked over and sat down in the chair, but Faith glanced hesitantly at the exam table before deciding to just stand.
It was only a few moments before Dr. Evans came in the room.
“Hello Faith!” He said, “So what seems to be the problem?”
Faith described what was different, and told him that she had a peculiar feeling for a couple of weeks now.
“Hmm…I’m going to ask you to do something for me, and I don’t want you to freak out, okay?” Dr. Evans said.
Faith nodded dumbly as she tried to swallow, but her mouth had become dry.
“I want you to take a pregnancy test.” Dr. Evans said slowly.
The thought hit Faith like someone had just slapped her. She had never thought about the possibility of being pregnant. Sure, the unwelcomed thought crossed her mind many times in the last month, but she always pushed it aside with a “God wouldn’t let that happen to me. I’m only 17.”
Faith and her mom exchanged glances as Faith was lead away to take the test.
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